Kim’s Retreat Blog, 7/25

Tugs from Home

Making time for the invisible, especially substantial periods of time can be challenging.

Yesterday when I called home Chris was struggling with a busy schedule and handling the responsibilities of the studios without me. I felt guilty, ashamed, and defensive. I said, “I am here to train to be a better teacher.” As if , contextualizing my time here in terms of improving our “product” would make it OK. It was a painful experience.

How do we create a life that is dynamic, fulfilling and yet still balanced?
How do we balance the responsibilities of the outside world with those same responsibilities to the soul?
How do we sit with the discomfort in ourselves and of those we love ?
How do we give ourselves permission to enjoy the time we have set aside to care and nurture the places that give?

These inquiries can be seen as the same battles that Arjun faces in the Bhagavad Gita. What is Arjuns problem? The poet who proposed the story wanted to make a very messy situation, one that didn’t have an easy answer.

The 1st verse of the book poses the question… Dharmacshetre, kuruksetre….. In the field of Dharma,( Dharma- religion, duty (things you should do), conditions, laws of things like math or physics, ideas we might worship, community, the ideal, the mental), and the field of Kurus (Kurus-action, where the rubber meets the road, what is happening at the intersection ie. You might have ideas about postures but when you practice how does it really work?) what do we do?

Krishna, the God of Love (this is a hint right at the beginning to guide you on the path) is Arjuns charioteer. He asks Arjun to pull their vehicle in between the two opposing armies. They see that both sides are imperfect and both sides are perfect. They see that each action they could take is a somewhat of a complicated endeavor. At this point of crisis, Arjun realizes that if he acts there will be consequences and if he doesn’t act there will be consequences. As a means of helping Arjun to understand the need to act Krishna starts to teach him the variety of philosophies associated with the practices of yoga and in and of themselves, they all seem insufficient. On the otherhand, through the process of seeking, questioning, and yearning, The Gita culminates in a grand vision, the middle path.

“Prakriti, nature or any natural phenomena, exists because it alone has the potential to reveal pure consciousness (Parusha). Parusha is revealed when any aspect of nature is examined closely.” As Richard describes it, “It has a ringer. The sound of the bell reveals silence. The arising and falling of sensation reveals pure awareness. Prakriti exists to reveal Parusha, which is pure joy. The difficulty lies in the notion that nature can also bind awareness into the illusion. This binding is suffering. You need to see nature really clearly. It is like looking at a cloud, as you peer carefully at its edge, you begin to perceive openness. “

4 noble truths of Buddhism.

There is suffering
There is a cause for the suffering
You can eliminate the cause
There is a methodology for eliminating the cause.

So if you have gotten this far…..

If I go to my mat to practice, there will be suffering. If I don’t go to my mat to practice there will be suffering. The real awareness contains a space where the inevitable suffering can be perceived and acknowledged. I can learn to cultivate compassion around suffering and ease it with love and kindness. I can remember that paradise does not have to follow my rule or idea about what it is. I can remember that my idea of paradise or anything can keep me from enjoying the present moment. And in this awareness I may actually enjoy the process. I know that there is a healing in this awareness. And finally, I offer the benefits of my healing up to the enlightenment of all beings,I hope to be of help to those around me.

“Every moment of Light and Dark is a Miracle” Walt Whitman